True Colours!


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda, in which I am participating for the first time. Write Over the Weekend theme for this week : “This time you have to write a post including the two words Salaam and Namaste”.
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“Hello….”
 
“..(ghhrrrr…..snoring in deep slumber, though sitting on a chair)…….”
 
“Hello, hey there! I’m asking you. Can you hear me?”
 
“ ….(No response)……..”
 
“Remove your god forsaken stick from the entrance and let me pass (shouts), I am in a hurry.”
 
“(Wakes up grumpily) Are you Hindu or Muslim?”
 
“Why on earth do you ask that?”
 
“Because I keep that stick to block the passageway deliberately so that people have to give it away by the way they address people – you didn’t either say ‘Namaste’ or ‘Salaam Alaikum’, so I have to ask you.”
 
“What my being Hindu or Muslim has to do anything with it?”
 
“Everything, didn’t you read the sign board outside?”
 
“Do you think I had all the time in the world before waking you up? It’s an emergency. I demand let me go at this instant.”
 
“Not unless you tell me if you are a Hindu or Muslim.”
 
“Why do I have to divulge that information before I’ve to pee?”
 
“Rules are rules!”
 
“Since when public toilet became so esoteric? This is a secular country, damn it!”
 
“Huh! only in papers. Not in this part of India.”
 
“Why?”
 
“Because there was no toilet in this junction of the highway. People used to make the neighbourhood fields dirty. So a benevolent patron of the locality made this nice pay toilet. It was observed that some illiterate goons from the other religion was soiling the toilet. So he issued a notice that only people from his communities will be benefited from it.”
 
“And what about the others, if they need to use it?”
 
“Well, of course, his decision created some stir among his rivals from the other community. So they too pulled money and created one for their own a few yards away (pointing to a direction) and banned his people from using it. So you see, it is the doorkeeper, who has to ask.”
 
“Salaam – Namaste, you piece of junk! You know what, I don’t care - I am going to do it right here (and really starts to go by his words by undoing his belt), lets see if you can differentiate Hindu and Muslim shit by the colours of it.”
 
“Hey – what are you doing? Go inside, but this is one time only. Don’t tell anyone about it.”
 
After a few minutes, he returned in his rather pleasant and calm avatar and blessed the gatekeeper, “Thank you. May all the happiness of the world befall upon you.”
 
“Pay me five rupees in exact change!”, the gatekeeper remarked coldly, who usually collected the service charge on the way in.
 
“Asking for money you earthly soul? Be grateful for the knowledge I’ve prayed to God, all the time I was in there, to bestow upon you.”
 
“Are you Christian?”
Without answering or paying and leaving the gatekeeper startled all the more, the man disappeared into the dark of the night, just as he had arrived.


P.S. This is purely a work of fiction and not to hurt any religious sentiments.

12 comments:

Athenas Take said...

Sallam, namamste and good evening, no religion, no caste no bullshit is needed to cause more divides. What a lovely way to express this thought. Loved the lines lets see if you can differentiate Hindu and Muslim shit by the colours of it.” :D Still rolling with laughter and enjoyed the post thoroughly.

Abhra Pal said...

Thank you so much. Yes, exactly the philosophy new India believes in. This was more of a trial post towards writing humour fiction because as soon as I saw the WOW objective for this weekend. Now that I know my readers like it, I think I should invest more of my energy towards this form of writing. Thank you once again.

Indrani said...

That was a unique take!
I won't be surprised if this really happens, some people are capable of categorizing.

Abhra Pal said...

Thanks Indrani, well, I am not sure if this happens in some parts of India, but it was my objective to create a subtle satire based on what happens already.

themoonstone said...

Very creative !! And a nice way to tell people to stop categorizing !

Abhra Pal said...

Thank you so much - I wanted to give a slightly different satirical angle to this much talked about topic, it seems it has worked.

Subroto said...

Very clever bit of satire. Reminded me of that old joke http://www.jokes.com/funny-god-jokes/zfgoif/religions-of-the-world

Abhra Pal said...

Thank you so much - this is virtually my first attempt towards satire and seems it has served it's purpose.

Suresh Chandrasekaran said...

Good message well wrapped :)

Abhra Pal said...

Thank you Sir.

Kalpana Solsi said...

Hello , Salaam and Namaste all the same form of greeting to break the ice.

Abhra Pal said...

True - but I had to bent the usage slightly to make the story :)

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