Don't Angry Me~

A hilarious argument between a couple on smoking - read if you smoke or planning to quit. If you don't or have quit, read all the same.

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“Someone has got to stop smoking – for those vicious, obnoxious advertisements shown on the big screen every time I go to watch a film will kill me from disgust, if not anything else.”  

 

“Oh! Now that they show what reality is like, you suddenly start hating it? What about the habit you have lived with for so many years? What about those countless pleadings, warnings, threats I’ve uttered, just to make you quit?”

 

“Err… don’t get me wrong, those ads are pretty foul themselves. Come on now, don’t you think so? Why do you look away when they show it? All I am saying is that in order to having people to stop smoking, don’t kill the fun of going to theatre.”  

 

“All of a sudden, the most sensible message is foul now? Forget the nicotine, what about the methane, butane, methanol, toluene, arsenic, carbon monoxide and cadmium – no enough to make one sick?”

 

“It’s not a lot of good health, I agree but imagine the mammoth loss the film industry has to suffer if those limited hard-core cinema goers stop going to the theatres because of this – cinema is a world of magic. What if this increases piracy? What about the future of industry – why endanger oneself?”

 

“Why do you argue on this? What good smoking has done after all?”

 

“Well, it has nurtured intellect for sure, inspired some really, creative people – who have seen through …..”

 

“Oh! And what intellect does a rickshaw puller have that he requires a ‘biri’?”

 

“Well, let’s say it is habit for passionate people – the smoke from any form of tobacco takes off the steam at the end of a bad day. You can’t have a rickshaw puller to have a good day on his meagre earning.”

 

“You moron – you are now trying to justify it, even though you can’t even describe its taste?”

 

“I can’t – no one can - it’s as difficult as describing the colour of water.”

 

“Don’t try to be poetic with me. I am starting to get really pissed off. The last thing I’d want is metaphor on the taste of cigarette. Tell me one good reason that you picked up this habit.”

 

“Well, it started in the university days – saw people waking up with a cigarette in the hostel. They said it acts like a super good reactive agent for emptying your bowel. I’d thought it would do the same to me – which it didn’t, or I didn’t notice a difference.”

 

“You piece of junk – even then you actually continued?”

 

“It is difficult to explain honey – you’ve never been to the common lavatory in a typical boys’ hostel in an average Indian college, not run by a superfluous fun to maintain the cleanliness – in those circumstances, the dreadful combination of nicotine, propane, butane and all those things you just said – aka the cigarette smoke, actually keeps the otherwise overpowering stench of shit away. That is how it actually started for many.”

 

“You…you – after ten years, you are giving me such nonsense!”

 

“Tell me honey – in all these years of married life, all that I’ve said – has they made any sense to you?”

 

“Don’t angry me now…”

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